


The Diet

by SassyFlamingo2



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cheeseburgers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Literature, diets are hard, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2020-01-06 11:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18387953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyFlamingo2/pseuds/SassyFlamingo2
Summary: Spring time has sprung and with it, Reader has decided that she wants to slim up a little bit. She didn't think it would be so hard with her burger loving boyfriend around.





	The Diet

A beautiful spring day was just beginning. Bright sunshine showcased the all of the budding trees and flowers just waiting to burst into bloom. A sweet smelling breeze blew through your open kitchen window, along with the chatter of your jogging female neighbors showing off their svelte bodies carefully cultivated over the winter in their new designer athletic wear.

"Stupid skinny show-offs" you grumbled. Trying to retrieve your battered old juicer from the jumbled depths of your kitchen cabinets. 

Just as you slammed the freed machine onto your kitchen counter-top, the roaring engine of a flaming red convertible raced down the street and whirled into your driveway on squealing tires.

Heavy steps quickly ran up the sidewalk and your kitchen door slammed open with a ear-cracking bang. 

*THE HERO IS HERE!" a tall, sandy blonde man in a leather bomber jacket yelled excitably as he burst through the door. Hands raised high in the air and grinning from ear to ear.  

You giggled. "Hey, Alfred. What's up?"

"The hero has come to take his favorite girl out for lunch at Burger Queen!" 

Crossing your arms and propping against your kitchen snack bar, you frowned. "I'm sorry Al but I can't. I'm starting my diet today. So, no more cheeseburgers for a while."

"Bu...But (F/N)! He whined, flopping down into the bar stool across from you. "You're the hero's best burger eating sidekick! You can't just stop!" he begged. His blue eyes all big and shiny with unshed tears in behind his glasses.

You sighed. "Alfred, I really need to cut back a little. I gained too much weight over Christmas with all the sweets and stuff.  It's not forever, I just want to lose a little bit. I'm aiming for 10 pounds."

Opening the fridge, you pull out a long aluminum foil wrapped item.

"Hey Babe, what's that?" he asked. Pointing to the mysterious item in your hand. 

"This? This is celery." you reply, Unwrapping the green stalk. " For the next 10 weeks, my plan is to have a glass of fresh celery juice before each meal, with the help of my old juicer here (pats juicer lovingly). For breakfast, I'll have a cup of oatmeal and some fresh fruit. For lunch and dinner, a salad and a small portion of lean meat."

"You're gonna eat the same thing every day?"

"Yep!"

"....but no burgers?"

"No burgers" you confirmed with a nod.

"Okay Dudette! If that's what you want, then you've got the hero's full support!" Alfred yelled excitably, flashing a sparkly grin and a thumbs up. An American flag proudly waved from behind his back.

"Alfred...Where did you get the American flag?"

**Two weeks later.....**

Oh. My. God.

You couldn't help it.

A thin line of drool escaped your lips.

This had to be the most delicious sight ever.

Two juicy, charcoal grilled beef patties topped with a tangy slice of sharp yellow cheddar cheese on the bottom and a generous swipe of creamy white mayo on top, all held together with a soft but slightly crusty potato bun.

"Uh, Dudette? You all right?" Alfred questioned, pausing in mid-bite of the burger. "You're drooling."

Quickly swiping a hand over your mouth. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine."

"You can have a small bite, you know" He said as offered his burger to you. Baby blue eyes shining with concern for you.

"No, no. It's okay." you flapped a hand in his direction, dismissing his offer. "I have my delicious, healthy....salad." You said, dragging your gaze from the hot cheeseburger to your cold salad. Your stomach growled loudly in protest.

"Okay" Alfred said, resuming shoving the burger in his mouth at such a rapid rate that it made you seriously wonder about his safety.

**Four more weeks later....**

You were sitting on the living room floor sorting with your DVD collection spread around you in a circle, unable to decide which one to watch for your weekly movie night with Alfred.

The kitchen door slammed, announcing his arrival only seconds before he bounced into view. 

"Hey, (F/N), what'ca doing on the floor?" he asked, shrugging off his leather jacket and throwing it on your beat-up leather sofa. 

"Alfred, you're here!" you cheer. Making a grabby hands gesture for him to come closer.

He squatted down to your level and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before standing up. "I'll get the popcorn started" 

You blinked once. Twice.

There was a subtle hint of something lingering on his lips but what? It almost tasted...grilled?

You stood up. "Alfred!"

He poked his head out of the kitchen. "Yeah, Dudette?"

"Come here!" you commanded, beckoning him with curled finger.

Alfred scanned your stern expression before answering timidly, "Why?"

"I want another kiss!" you stalked over and grabbed his head. Effectively smashing your lips and against his. His arms flailed, not entirely prepare for the ferociousness of the kiss.

Lungs burned from lack of air before you finally released him. Alfred clung to the wall, eyes bugged out and open mouth gasping like a fish.

You licked your lips, pondering the source of the taste before the light bulb clicked on. 

"You had a triple jumbo burger with heavy mayo, light mustard, and extra pickles. A jumbo fry with extra salt and ketchup. A jumbo Dr. Cola and a large vanilla shake." you point.

He gazed at you in wonder. "How did you do that?"

"Special talent. Now, come here! I want some more!"

"Oh, HELL NO!" Alfred spun around, grabbed a armful of pillows and slung them at you. You fell to the floor giggling, watching Alfred's backside as he sprinted for the kitchen door.

He reached the door and started frantically pulling on the knob right as you wallowed up and bellowed "Alfred! I want another taste!" 

With a noisy *POP*, the door opened. Alfred raced down your sidewalk and into the night like a freed stallion.

"ALFRED F. JONES, LET ME KISS YOU!" you screamed like a madwoman, running as fast you could to catch him.

"HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE THE HERO!"

**Four more weeks later....(the final stretch)**

You stared at your mortal enemy, the scale.

Two knocks sounded on the closed bathroom door. "You okay in there Dudette?"

You sighed, "I'm fine. Thanks for the moral support baby."

"Might as well get the official verdict" you mumbled. Placing one foot delicately on the scale, you closed your eyes as you stood completely on the scale. Waiting for the final numbers that would show if all your hard work proved true.

You cracked an eyelid, peeping at the red numbers blaring evilly from the little digital screen.

"WOOHOO! (your desired weight number)!"

You jumped off the scale and jerked open the bathroom door and surprising Alfred who sat on your bed, totally absorbed in his handheld video game.

"Alfred, I did it!" you jabbered excitingly.

"That's great (F/N)!" Alfred grinned, throwing his arms around you and squashing you with a big bear hug.

"Let's go celebrate! We can go to Burger Queen!"

*SMACK*  


**Author's Note:**

> Could you imagine being on a diet with Alfred around?  
> Hope you enjoy it! This fic is also listed on my Deviantart account happydoo2  
> Hetalia and all characters do not belong to me.  
> The idea does belong to me.  
> You belong to America.


End file.
